A Major Modest Proposal

There have been two major changes of conferences in the recent history of the UNL Cornhuskers football team.  The Big Eight was okay, but we thought we could do better in the Big 12 - so we switched.  The Big 12 was okay, but we thought we could do better in the Big Ten – so we switched.
 
Now, the non-football affairs of Nebraska are almost as important as the huskers, so I suggest that the entire state change conferences.


Let me explain...

While Nebraska is doing very well (low unemployment, higher product prices, low crime, Warren Buffett, College World Series, etc.,)  the rest of the United States is pulling us down (increasing debt, unemployment, crime, expensive foreign wars.  I may be oversimplifying, but it does come down to two simple divisions.  ''Culture of Life '' or ''Culture of Death ''.
 
I think many Nebraskans share my concerns for the United States.  Where as the mainstream seems to be ''Culture of Death '' our state motto is ''The Good Life ''.  Our nation's motto then seems to be ''The Bad Death "
 

This is a two-step plan... 
 
First, everyone agrees that the Dakotas are doing very well. There is low unemployment, discovery of oil, huge potential for wind power, their fine universities, and finally, the perception of the Dakotas worldwide.  Baby girls and boys are being named Dakota, Dodge trucks are named Dakota, cigarettes are named Dakota, and buildings are named Dakota.  I think very few children, trucks, etc., are being named ''Nebraska''!

So, I suggest changing the name of Nebraska to ''Extremely South Dakota''. "ESD'' - postal abbreviation ''ED''.

Secondly, all three of the Dakota states secede (like Texas did from the southern country of Mexico and then joined with the northern countryof USA) and then join Canada – the country of low crime, low national debt, stable currency, high education, robust economy, vast natural resources, and darn GOOD manners! I don't think most Americans would even recognize that we were gone. 

However, they might notice that instead of 50 states, there were now 47. This is easily brought back up to 50 by allowing Puerto Rico, Baja California, and Iraq to become states!
 
 
Tongue-firmly-in-cheek,

John Jack
 

Things I am famous for...

Life is so WIERD -- While I think of myself as a consistent person. It seems some small isolated random act defined me to my friends, fellow students, and co-workers...

While it is easy to tailor a email to only a few people or even just one person. but it is difficult writing a blog that may be seen by many people... I hope I dont offend or surprise anyone....

But it certainly wont be a surprise that I am a non-conformist...

I certainly did things my own way... for better or worse. I admit it would of been better to ''raise the bridge'' rather than trying to ''lower the river''!

I dont have much left but my stories... ...and I really like the idea of getting these stories out on the internet -- which is as close to ''eternity'' as us mortals can achieve...
　
-=-=-=-
Holy Cross Catholic Grade School - I hear this every reunion -- that I peed on a radiator in a little used hallway. I dont think I did this -- but that was a long time ago... I know I have rebellious streak -- but it is NOT that wide or that deep....

So I am known to some people as ''Bad Jack''

-My nickname was ''Stringbean'' - cuz I was so skinny....
　
-=-=-=-=-
Now most of the following I did indeed do....

Omaha Northwest High School - Now I have never been a good cook, and I have never liked marijuana... But twice in high school I cooked ''pot brownies'' -- and passed them out at a junior prom at the old Peony Park...

So I am known to some people as ''Pot Brownie Jack''

-My nickname at that time was ''Mr. GreenJeans''
　
-=-=-=-=-
University of Nebraska-Lincoln - At the Sigma Nu frat I did a real dumb thing --as they passed a bottle of whiskey to us new recruits to swig -- I HAD to show off and chugged half the bottle.

--I immeadiately went outside to vomit ( I would've died of alcohol poisioning otherwise)  Ah, if only I applied myself to my studies and starting a business with such zeal...

So I am known to some people as ''Crazy Jack''

--My nickname was ''Fool on the Hill''
　
-=-=-=-=-=-
Bellsouth - I owned a nice 1991 V8 mustang GT convertible. the heater core (behind the glovebox) had a leak and winter was coming... My co-workers were purists -- you fixed things right and if you couldn't --you had the car dealer do the repair.

I am NOT a purist, --and I didnt want to spend the $1500 the dealer wanted to install the $40 part-- so I figured, rather than following the repair manual ( ----removing the steering wheel [with its explosive air bag], the dash cluster, the whole dashboard, drain and disassmble the AC system) I just sawed the dash in half, didnt mess with the driver's side stuff at all, didnt mess with the AC, just went to the junkyard and saw how the heater core was in big black airbox that does all the heating/cooling and cut the airbox open to remove the leaking heater core -- then put the new one in, and put alot of silicone sealent on everything to hold it together...

It worked well, and I was happy that I could do a $1500 11-hour job for $50 and in 2 hours. But my co-workers thought I was crazy-stupid, unconventional -- and ''ruined'' a good car.  I still have to disagree-- It didnt affect the re-sale value of the car... ( I have heard some unprincipled people sell a car with a bad heater in the summer, so the buyer does not notice the problem until fall...)

So I am known to some people as ''Stingy-Man Jack''

My nickname at that time was ''Ticket Monkey'' --But that nickname applied to most of the people in my department....
　
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I've been a volunteer firefighter on a few fire departments in Colorado and Tennessee.

I once ruffled a few feathers by going to a nearby yogurt shop in my ''bunker gear'' (firefighter protective suit) --but, the biggest (negative) impact I made was painting my own firefighter helmet!

Most volunteer fire dept's have limited budgets and old 2nd hand firetrucks. So you learn to make do.

My brother gave me a fine ''old school'' ''FDNY'' (out of spec) ''cairnes'' leather helmet -- but it was yellow --the color and rank of a lieutenant and my rank was one below that --''firefighter'' -- like ''private'' in the army (the lowest rank availible) -- I was definately an ''indian'' not a ''chief''...
I dont know how the news got out that I was so weird to paint my helmet black... --or why it was so newsworthy--

but the officiers went on and on how unbeleivably 'bad' I was. But they never tried to get me a proper helmet. -- But I dont blame them -- money was tight.

However, when one of them drove the firetruck out of the station one day with a open equipment door -- and knocked down a good bit of the firestation --about 2 tons of bricks fourteen feet high.

I never found out which damage cost more -- the repairs to the firestation or the repairs to the firetruck.
　
So the small moral of that story is --painting your helmet -> unforgivable cardinal sin. But knocking down a brick firestation with a firetruck --> easily forgiven innocent mistake!

SO my nickname at that time was ''Black Helmet Jack'' or just ''BlackJack''! -- Some of the guys said I was ''useless'' ( I was twice the age of most of those guys--and I was already getting weak from the ALS) My retort was, "Hey!  I'm only HALF-useless!''  (-=schmirk=-)

　
-=-=-=-=-
And so my tales are complete... And the BIG Moral is ''Dont pay too much attention to the critics. The only one you really need approval is the person you see in the mirror.''

So fix that heater (but, dont pee on it) and paint your stuff your way, but dont knock down any buildings!


I guess the ending of this story might be identical to the beginning -- with me being accused of peeing on the radiators at my nursing home -- honest, it's not me -- my mom raised me better than that!
-=j=-

Notes on my 2008 Europe Trip...

I have probably forgotten most of my EU trip, but here goes....

Had a 6 hour layover in Washington DC at Dulles airport and took the
shuttle over to the NASA - Smithsonian airplane museum. It is a
really big museum building when you can park a space shuttle off in
the corner. Great start to the trip.



London
-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Had a great flight. Quiet. Great movies. Lots of leg room.

Got off the plane in Heathrow and FIRST thing I see is a Jack Daniels
Lynchburg,
Tennessee billboard. Wow. I flew 6,000 miles for this!?!

First thing I went to the graveyard of author Douglas Adams (Hitch
Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy) --Should of been the Second thing, as
there was admission charge. And they didnt take plastic or US
dollars. Time I found a ATM, I was far far away. Sigh.

Stayed at a youth hostel on the river Thames (Thameside). The Mayflower Pub down the
street is where the puritans left England on the way to America. Wow.

Was saddened by how Americanized London is. Century 21's, mcDonalds,
Starbucks, Pizza Hut, etc. Even saw a British bus driver lose his
temper with a old Swiss man. I told the old Swiss guy (who reminded
me very much of my grandfather Toberer, "That's OK, nobody likes me
EITHER!" =)

I was surprised at the "older" people of the UK. They were the friendlier
than the younger folk in 1986. and 22 years later the reverse is now true.
Maybe the way the world is changing too fast, they are overwhelmed. I
know I sometimes am.

Amazing to me that Londoners are security photographed over 300 times
every day.

Took a bus/ferry to Paris. Didn't take the Chunnel as it is dark in there
--What would I see?

Took a ferry across the channel at Dover so saw the chunnel entrance.
Neat homes burrowed into the chaulk cliffs...



Paris
-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Well, everything I have ever heard about France was wrong. I found the
people clean, not smelly, friendly and helpful.

Wish I went to Paris when I was 26. Oh well. Better late than never.
And much better to see it in peacetime as a tourist than as a soldier
in wartime --as our boys in W.W. I and W.W. II.

I had been in Paris only 40 minutes and THREE things happened!-- 2
people cuddled up to me from behind in the subway turnstiles to avoid
the 2 euro fare. (Hello!) and a old polish guy asked ME for directions
and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. I was worried I would misdirect
him, but in the morning I saw that I had sent him the the correct
direction. The Polish in France are like the Mexicans in America (Sorry,
dad)

Stayed at the '3 ducks' hostel by "Felix Favre" acouple of clicks
(kilometers) from the Eiffel Tower. Didnt get to do enough, but did
the high points and dug the city. Eiffel, Louvre, Montmartre, Champs
Useless (sp?), Notre Dame, Sacre Couer, yadda yadda yadda.

My first thought of seeing the Eiffel Tower was (excuse my French):
"THAT is a BIG sum'B'itch!"--which proves that you can take the boy out
of the Nebraska farm fields, but you cant take the Nebraska farm fields
out of the boy....

It is Much taller than the 33 foot tower in Paris, Tennessee
(pop. 9,750)

I see more Berets in Clarksville, TN than I did in Paris, france. BUT
Fort Campbell does have the 101st Army Airborne Division .

When I was looking at a subway map on a street corner, a tiny old
Parisian (maybe 4 ft tall?) woman who couldn't walk well, staggered
slowly over to me and loudly asked (in broken English) "WHAT are YOU
looking FOR??" I had been worried that she was going to ask me for
money or tell me she hated my president. Nice that I held my ground.
She didnt have to do that. And yes, I did really need some directions
at that moment.

Another elderly (87) American woman made an impression on me as well.
She was from New England, I think. She told her 3 daughters and 5
granddaughters she wanted one last trip to Paris, so these women were
steamrollering their mom in her wheelchair thru Paris and woe to anyone who got in their way.
(PS the ONLY way to see the Mona Lisa up close {yes, even under the rope}is from a wheelchair!)

I admit I went to mcDonalds and Starbucks ALOT (They have the best
bathrooms!) I dont think I used a knife and fork the entire two weeks.
Jambon (ham) sandwiches, crepes, and roasted chestnuts from street
vendors as my main fare. I also ate yellow cheese, white cheese, blue
cheese, pink cheese, brown cheese, blue cheese. Hard cheese, soft
cheese from cows, goats, pigs? (Cheeeze,Grommit!)

I was not happy that I was the fattest guy in Paris. They walk
everywhere and I drive everywhere. Even their subway is no excuse
to sit as you have to change lines twice or more for even short trips
and there are stairs stairs and more stairs! I hadn't walked so much
in ten years (except for the Bonnaroo big concert) --I almost went lame.

I had a yellow pullover wind/ski pullover jacket with a large front
horizontal pocket. Very handy for maps, cheese, change, papers, water,
small books. One brit guy said, "Look at you! You are like a little
marsupial with your pocket there!" I got more than my share of stares.
--Even a infant in stroller looked at me and his look said. "WTF?!"
(What the Heck?) --Yea, Hey, I am NOT from here!

I was constantly amazed by the fashion, the plumbing, the cars, the
3 wheeled mopeds, the phones, the art, the fun that these people cram
into their cramped lives! Parisians wear three colors: Black, Black,
and I forget the 3rd one -- OH! It's BLACK! (Well, until someone
invents something Darker!) They wear really pointy shoes (even the
guys) and faded Jeans with one bright cotton rear LARGE butt pocket
sewed on for style. Also having a ''crown'' embroidered on the jeans'
butt pockets is VERY popular with the girls.

Talking about Dark, I did light candles at churches I stopped at for
my dear departed sister, Jeanne', my uncle Bill, my Grandparents, my old
roomates/frat brothers ( John Sapp, Mitch Platter and David -- I cant believe I have
forgotten David's last name --it takes a village to remember a fact...) and other my
friends from school, and anyone else I may have forgotten in my travels.

Levi's, Northface, and Nike have sure conquered the EU. As well as old
American Motown music. I heard very little local music blared from the
shops/malls/resturants. (Dublin was a exception to this)

Small scooters, motorbikes and cars make a high pitched noise. I
instinctively turned around on a Paris street near where Lady Di died
(near the river) when I heard a Loud low pitched exhaust sound. I saw
a new bright red mustang with British plates roaring thru traffic.
Quite a sight! Especially when gas is $9 a gallon...

I was surprised by the kids under 30. They dont really consider
themselves English, French or Spanish citizens. They are European
Citizens. Interesting.

Everyone was asking me who the next president of the US would be. I told
them... -- (well, you never mind WHAT I told them -- whatever I say here
will upset somebody. -- I did say that person who I think is gonna win,
usually doesn't, so I am no predictor of those kinds of events!

I think the highlight of my Paris trip was Pere Lachaise. Most visited
cemetery in the world. Sarah Bernhardt, Isadora Duncan, Bugatti, Chopin,
Oscar Wilde, Maria Callas (she is no longer home, it is a long story
-- see wikipedia), Moliere, Balzac, Hahnmann, Edith Piaf, Marcel Proust,
Modigliani (complete with rained out paintings draping his grave as a
tribute), Rossini, Collete-- and some American guy named
Jim Morrison...

Did stop at a Parisian fire station (sapeur-pompiers) -- thought they'd
show me around for 11 minutes. They gave me the full tour for 2 and a half
hours. Learned alot. Never saw a Mercedes-Benz firetruck before.

Another funny thing happened while on a guided walking tour by the Louvre...
There was a guy and some friends were multitasking on a pedestrian bridge over the
river: He was enjoying a picnic of cheese, bread and wine with his friends,
people-watching and selling art that he had laid out and pinned up. I would
describe them as paintings on cut up linen tablecloths, not stretched onto
frames (so they did roll up and travel well) I found one I liked and he said
35 Euros. I was in a BIG hurry as the tour was moving along and I didnt want
to lose the group. So this guy (artiste'?) wanted to talk and share some food
and talk -- He spoke excellent English. I said I wanted a certain painting
and he said "35 Euros" and I said "Oui!" -- Well, he gave me ANOTHER painting
and and said "25 Euros" and I tried to tell him I didnt have more money for
more paintings. He told me "NO! 25 Euros for both." I was confused, I thought
he was trying to "hustle" me. So THEN he gives me YET ANOTHER (third) painting
-- I am thoroughly confused by this time (Maybe he wanted me to haggle, and
when I wouldn't he just "haggled" for me?) So I try to give him 25 Euros,and
he only will take 20 Euros. This all happened in the span of 2 minutes. So not
only did he not hustle me (I consider the paintings some of my best purchases
- they are in the style of Modigliani) --- apparently I hustled him! =) Maybe
he felt sorry for Americans. Or maybe he was intoxicated. Maybe I
misinterpreted the whole thing.... But I can think not many better ways to
spend a day, than hang out on a bridge over the river -- in the heart of Paris --in heavy
pedestrian traffic, enjoying food and drink, making a little money and confusing the tourists.


Took a overnight train from Paris to Barcelona. Every train is announced by
the only 2 prerecorded bars of a young sexy girl singing some pop song - (hard
to describe but like "ah LA" -- very odd to hear again and again, but it did
get my attention. (Can one google sounds? -- gosh knows, I google
everything else...)

Very comfortable BIG train seat. Simple pleasures. The railroad rails smooth as glass. Woke up at
morning light to the charming towns and vineyards of the South of France / North of Spain. -- the whitewashed buildings, red tiled roofs and the glistening blue Mediterranean sea. I was tempted to jump
off the train and never come home. CereBere and Port Bou stick out most on that trip. The French
ticket lady thoughtfully gave me a hour layover in Port Bou. So I could wander
to the sea, stick my toe in, grab a coffee and a donut-thingy and look at the
pictures in the foreign seaside newspaper, from a seaside table, in a seaside
cafe, in a small charming seaside town...



Barcelona!
-=-=-=-=-=-=

Party Town! Yikes. 24/7 party. Art, Art, art EVERYWHERE.... Stayed near the "Ramblas"
a wide pedestrian boulevard where one goes to see and be seen. Many buskers
(street performers) Stayed at the Full Moon hostel -- right by the Kentucky
Fried Chicken.


Gaudi architechure. It doesn't look built by human hands, --instead it looks
like it just sprouted organically from the ground. Sagrade Familia cathedral
is spellbinding and it isn't even done yet. Will be a big party in 2026 when
it is done. (I hope) Wanna Go with me? You can push my wheelchair!


Some neighborhood festival was going on. They very resourcefully shut down
the street, put out 100 tables, cut up some wood pallets for firewood, had some
old homemade grills made from 55 gallon drums, and were roasting up some fresh spring
onions with lots of wine, beer and garlic. (Beer and wine for the onions AND for the Barcey-
loney-own-yuns (or whatever they call themselfs.) =) (later note: Thanks
to the TV show "No Reservations" I now know this was the "Calsetada" --cooking
calsets (fresh onion shoots)


It is so warm there, I think some people do not own trousers or shoes as they
wear shorts and sandals every day of the year. There was something magical looking down from the hill of the Olympic Park (mt. juic or ''jew mountain") overlooking the harbor and old old city of Barcelona. Spent
a half day and night in the small town of Rues. Very pretty. More Gaudi
Architecture and modernsme. Took a Ryanair plane from Rues to Ireland.
Ryanair -- the Walmart or ALDI no-frills airline ---Advertising everywhere
and seats dont even recline back!



Dublin
-=-=-=-=

Stayed on the River Liffey near 4 courts courthouse near the spire-- spire is
useful to navigate by, day or night. (It had a tiny, yet bright light at the top.
James Joyce stuff EVERYWHERE. You can't throw a portrait (of a young man...)
without hitting some JJ historical thing-a-ma-bob.

I still dont understand why the toilets were so big and the sinks so small.
Youngest city in EU. Baby carriages everywhere. Friendliest city in EU.
Temple Bar neighborhood, great. Guiness brewery great -- they built a large round
all-glass bar on top on the old brewery )called "the Gravity Bar") and the view
is spectactular. I was the oldest guy in the room though. -- and at a AA meeting
I was the YOUNGEST. Go figure.



Well, have a good summer. Dont be afraid of the attack of the 3 ft Parisian
woman, kiss people on BOTH cheeks, Be glad you can figure out how your local
toilets operate, go stick a toe in your local body of water, steam roller a Mona Lisa,
grill some onions, dont worry about petrol prices, confuse a tourist, grab
some rock hard bread, some very soft cheese, some spicy ham. a bottle of well,
whatever =) --and blanket and picnic somewhere no one has picnicked before --your local
church, highway median or the bait aisle at Walmart, for instance.




-=jack green=-
Nashville, TN



-=-=-=-=-=-

I'm STILL stunned by TV's Breaking Bad Finale!

Wow. that was unbeleiveable -- Gus apparently surviving
the unsurvivable -- then pan from his unscathed left side to
the front view of his VERY scathed right side
...final tie straightening.
....and fall down dead...

Reminds me of a song by the mexican trio about ''Heisenberg''

''...that homey's dead -- he just dont know it yet'' -- I thought it applied to Walt
-- but it applied to Gus (--AND moamar gaddifi!)  in the end....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vtulFRilrY

3 minutes - that line after 1:30...

I am going to be disappointed by next season because I know what will happen....

!!SPOILER ALERT!!

...While Walt could stop 'cooking' and settle down to a law-abiding, 'car wash' life..
I know he WILL become the NEW 'GUS' --the evil hated drug kingin. -- Cooking,
dealing, killing-- even children. Walt is going from very good to very evil. Money and
power do corrupt...  -=SIGH=-

-=j=-

Hotmail... Gone Cold...

Got locked out of my hotmail Email account today....
Ive probably had it 15 years -- I bet I put in a fake birtdate back then as I was scared of ID theft even back then... and who was my favorite person from history back then? my dad? Tesla? Lee DeForest (inventor of amplying radio vacuum tube)? Max Headroom? Jack Daniels? Me?
John or Paul?
(definately John -- definately NOT Yoko)
I can unlock it from my att work email -- but I have logged in in 4 months, now I dont go to work anymore and I forgot that password...
My cousin Greg wanted me to swiitch to Gmail -- this might be a blessing in disguise... I opened one a while back, but unlike most of google I find it hard to use... -- it is my att uid @ gmail.com
I wonder if my computer has a virus and my gmail will corrupted next...
Well, if you get a email from ''keaka'' asking for a money or other personal info -- call me on my cell.
sigh... -=j=-
　
　

...Predicting the Unpredictable -- Steve Jobs...‏

Steve (thru his products and in other ways) revolutionized our world.
While he is now gone, I think we will still see some surprises from the departed
Mr. Jobs. I can only speculate -- I will be wrong, but whatever it will be,
Steve Jobs WILL be as revolutionary in death as in life!
I doubt he will give the bulk of his money to his children or existing charities.
I REALLY doubt he will have 'willed'' it to the Gates foundation.
This could mean building of the world's largest Buddhist shrine or a shrine next
to every McDonalds in the world OR a shrine/large mandala (and/or the Apple logo) on the moon.
...Or starting a new paradigm worldwide school/university that costs pennies and deliveried via iphones, ipods, ipads, iphones, imacs, other computers and devices.
...Or the creation of a ''computerized politician'' that can impartially and fairly run the world's goverments and economies-- Since us humans are making such a hash of it.
...Or bringing about some of the technology of Stars Wars, Star Trek, and Pixar into reality...
But I bet what Steve wanted, was what ONLY Steve could do... "BE Steve!'' --and if he had lived a longer life, he could of done that...
The only ways for Steve to keep helping the planet are to:
a) have children (he had 4 chlidren -- or maybe 40,004! (thru artifical insemination)
b) clone himself -- difficult, but not impossible...
c) download himself into a super computer -- remember he's done the impossible before...

SO, I predict in 20 years or so -- you'll see (under a moon with an apple logo) a buddhist shrine in your neighborhood with some young guys that look alot like Steve Jobs, taking computer-politician classes taught by a ''Max Headroom'' virtual Steve. ---Bill Gates WONT be happy!

see jack, see jack blog, blog jack blog...

my inspiration for this is to...

a) make my cousin greg happy ( hi, greg!)

b) imitate carla silbersmith (1963-2009)

carlamuses.blogspot.com

--she dealt with life, death and ALS with humor and dignity...
Her writings give me peace --

c) mimic my scary-smart sister and her now-ended blog...

http://greenjewls.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_archive.html

--=-=-=-=-=-=--

I was diagnosed with ALS-Lou Gehrig's disease (US name)/motor neurone disease (worldwide name) 5 months ago -- I had a twitch in my upper left arm and then a awkward running gait.  Since then Ive lost ability to run, type with more than 1 finger (makes me a better writer -- like in ''ye olde'' days when writers paused to dip their quill pens in a ink well and craft their next line...), use my left hand as more than as a weak claw, ride a bike, walk more than a half block.  blah blah blah!  BUT Ive also lost my fear of the future --being cool, getting promoted, keeping up with the joneses, retirement, stock market, global warming, health in my 60's and beyond... is NO longer ANY concern to me --I'm gonna be dead!  It's very free-ing...

--=-=-=-=--=-

''Bye Bye Bellsouth''

I wrote this a month ago as a goodbye to my co-workers at at&t...

(sorry this is SO melodramatic!)


 

Everyone, thanks for your kind words...
 (It makes me cry to get such support-- yea, there, I said it...)
 -=-=-=-
 　
I look at my world and I look back at my life and it’s not the paychecks, nor the trips, nor the motorcycles, nor the art robots, the stolen food (wait, was that a confession?!?) --or even the cool hot-rod cars that matter. It’s you. And You. And You. And all of the people who have been my teachers, my friends, my co-workers, my students, my fellow volunteer firefighters, my accomplices and my family.... 
 I want to include at&t and bellsouth under ''family'' not co-workers--  I was such a mess after my divorce but ya'll (See, I'm getting the southern ''culture'' thing) loved me thru it.
 --=-=-=-=-

I've been off work 2 months now... had the scary realization that I am (unless there is a miracle) for all practical purposes: ''retired''  
 
What have I been doing?  going out to eat alot, been on the computer and watching uverse TV --Watched ALL  75 episodes of battlestar galactica -- watching prequel  ''caprica'' now. 

FRAK!

-=--=-=-

But now -- time for ALS jokes!
--mostly stolen from Carla Silbersmith

 ALS folks are often sexy (David Niven, Shostakovich, me ). Often brilliant (Stephen Hawking, Charles Mingus, me). And often very persuasive (Mao Tse Tung and well...me.) Unless Shostakovich was persuasive, I am claiming exclusive bragging rights on all three.

-=-=-
 short joke:  ''a quadriplegic walks into a bar..."
 -=-=-
 "We’re all dying, I’m just an over-achiever."
 -=-=-
It's interesting to know you might expire before your credit cards... 

-=-=-

Q: What do you call a dog with advanced stage ALS
A: you don't call him anything – – he is not going to come!

For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease a couple of weeks ago.... I hate baseball, I'd really much rather have been diagnosed with a basketball disease. Maybe Wilt Chamberlain disease. That's the one where you have sex 20,000 times and then you die."

 -=-=-=-
 I guess my MAIN legacy at Conyers (and Brentwood) is that when food disappears I will STILL  be blamed!   ...being remembered as a ''dick'' is STILL better than not being remembered!     -=schmirk=-
-=-=- my latest wacky plan is to get my head shaved, get a tattoo that says "I love you!" (or other pithy slogan) on the top of my head (I've always been anti-bald and anti-tattoo) --and hopefully enough hair will grow back in time for arrival in omaha.  ...and if/when I cant talk or hold my head up... (doctor says I got 1 to 10 years --but my lungs say I got less than 2...)   ...get my head shaved again for the ''final say''!
 Yes?  No?

(Note: vote was zero ''Yes'' and TWO  ''No's") 

my girlfriend has been taking great care of me...

I had a big attitude adjustment last month: 2 friends that I had complained to about my illness, up and had the nerve to die before me --and steal my thunder! One by heart attack and the other by arguing with columbia police dept.  It was humbling and hit home that the future is uncertain and every day is a gift...

-=-=-=-

--I'm doing ok, just gradually getting weaker - will probably go to a nursing home soon...
 
-=-=-=-=-
  

last note : funny cheap halloween costume idea

I saw this in Boulder, Colorado 20 years ago -- all you need is 3 or more people with swimsuits (and warm enough weather if outside!)  some blue baloons and cardboard...

the idea is to wrap the cardboard into a personal ''hot tub" around yourself -- the genius of this is to leave the cardboard in a ''C'' shape, a open circle, not a closed circle  -- so if the you and your BFF's, posse or mates see a attractive member of the opposite sex, they can ''open'' their personal hot tub, gather around and enclose that person within a instant ''big'' hot tub.... GREAT picture opportunity!

Thanks again --and God Bless Ya'll... 

bye for now...
-=jack=-